10: Bringing Dark Influence Secrets From The CIA, NSA, and FBI Into The Light With Shari Alexander

Time stamped show notes:

[00:18] Introduction to Shari Alexander

[02:11] What got her into this line of work

[04:45] She loves this world of influence because it’s about mastering words.  

[06:19] Things people can do to start being influential.  

[7:51] Start by asking: what do I need to know? – if you want to be influential

[10:35] Create the conversation ahead of time.

[13:00] People want to hide behind the screen because it’s easier, safer and more leverageable, but people need to spend time when they’re selling to talk to people.

[17:43] The lower the price, the less commitment the client has.  

[20:43] Ask: is this a tool or a solution?  

[20:49] Oftentimes in the entrepreneurial journey you will come across and if you don’t know how to use it, it won’t work.  

[23:09] Her ambitions and new projects.  

[28:42] Tools that can make someone influential

[31:55] Influence is communication with a purpose. You have to get comfortable with the idea that you want something from people.

[33:34] People should communicate in a thoughtful manner, instead of communicating on autopilot.

[36:09] You have to be aware of being overly authentic cannot help you. Think of what is going to serve you best.  

[38:13] You have to be specific.  

[39:41] Influential triggers: (1) quid pro quo, (2) higher significance

[41:50] The people you can turn into an asset, can be the ones that you give money to, but they will be the least reliable.  

[42:18] The person that you recruit that can be an asset are the people who do it for the higher significance.  

[44:05] Framework people can use right now- the influential vibes – five things you can look for in your mark

[44:39] Five influential vibes: (1) Values: what are important to them?

[45:11] You can’t influence someone that you’re judging.

[45:29] Five influential vibes: (2) Identifiers – what are the labels they put on themselves?

[46:17] Five influential vibes: (3) Beliefs – what are the stories they tell about their world? Very linked to values

[47:01] Five influential vibes: (4) Emotional triggers – what puts them in a positive or negative space?

[47:47] Five influential vibes: (5) Secret goals and desires – what are they aspiring to? What are their higher goals?

 

Three key points:

 

1. Influence is communication with a purpose. You have to get comfortable with the idea that you want something from people.
2. You have to be aware of being overly authentic cannot help you. Think of what is going to serve you best.  
3. VIBES – Values, Identifiers, Beliefs, Emotional triggers, Secret goals and desires.

 

Resources mentioned:

Sean Stevenson

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